Perfectionism

Most of us have felt the pull of perfectionism at some point, the pressure to get it “just right”, the fear of falling short, the voice that says we should always be doing more. It can look like motivation, but it often feels heavy, relentless and isolating.

Perfectionism is more than just wanting to do well or striving for excellence. It is a pattern where self-worth feels tied to performance, achievement, or meeting external and internal standards, often impossibly high ones, and if reached - at an incredibly high cost to ourselves.

Perfectionism is not just as a personality trait, but a way of coping that often develop because of early experiences, societal expectations, or environments that reward constant striving and self-criticism. Perfectionism can be exhausting, self-limiting, and lonely.

How Perfectionism Can Show Up

  • Fear of making mistakes or failing

  • Overthinking, rumination, or constant self-monitoring

  • Difficulty finishing tasks or delegating work

  • Over-preparation or over-researching

  • Chronic self-criticism 

  • Procrastination due to fear of imperfection

  • Feeling “never enough” despite achievements

  • Avoiding challenges where success isn’t guaranteed

  • Self-blame.

  • Comparing yourself to others and feeling inadequate

  • Emotional exhaustion or burnout from constant striving

  • Anxiety, restlessness, or tension around performance

  • Difficulty relaxing, resting, or celebrating accomplishments

How We Can Work Together

Therapy can help you understand why your perfectionism or over-control developed and what maintains it, to better manage uncertainty and build self-trust in being an imperfect and wonderfully messy human. 

Depending on your needs, we may use a range of approaches, including:

  • Exploring perfectionist patterns and developing self-awareness around where it shows up for you.

  • Making room for uncomfortable thoughts and feelings as we loosen rigid rules.

  • Identifying and challenging unhelpful thinking patterns that may unintentionally reinforce perfectionistic behaviours

  • Reducing self-criticism and harsh inner talk.

  • Cultivating self-kindness and self-compassion.

  • Managing tension and anxiety through grounding, breathwork, and body-based approaches

  • Increase tolerance of uncertainty

  • Connect with what matters most, rather than what “looks perfect”

  • Develop self-trust in your own choices and agency

Looking for an Online Psychologist for Perfectionism?

If perfectionism is weighing you down, feel free to reach out.  

You are welcome to start with a free 15-minute consult call to see if we’re a good fit. 

If you’d like more information first, you can ask a question or browse the FAQs.